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WORLD NEWS:
Teased Man Chops of His Penis
A Filippino man has chopped off his penis after reportedly being teased about its size.Rhudyll Isorena was drinking with friends when they dared each other to get out their organs to prove who had the biggest.After becoming the butt of jokes, the 25-year-old went home despondent and cut off the end of his manhood in rage. Isorena, from Laguna, was rushed to the Philippine General Hospital in severe pain, reports the Philippines Daily Inquirer."He said he was out of his mind when he did it," said Dr Jojo Castillo, of the urology section.The doctor says Castillo has only a few centimetres left of his penis, but he can still urinate properly and father children."He still has a stump. He can still have sex, although the thing does not look good," added Dr Castillo. The doctor said the sliced-off portion could have been reattached but the severed part was not with the victim when he was brought to hospital.
TODAY'S JOKE:
Little Johnny
It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said "Give me Liberty, or Give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." he said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you ever say anything else I will have you killed." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
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